Self-compassion involves responding in the same supportive and understanding way you would with a good friend when you have a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. There are three elements which comprise self-compassion: Self-kindness vs. self-judgment, common humanity vs. isolation, and mindfulness vs. over-identification.

1. Mindfulness vs. Over-Identification

This is central to self-compassion and provides the awareness needed to be with ourselves as we are and to validate our pain. It’s a balanced state that steers clear of two common reactions to suffering: avoidance and over-identification.

2. Common Humanity vs. Isolation

Common humanity involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy are part of the shared human experience – something that we all go through rather than being something that happens to “me” alone.

3. Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment

The element of kindness at the core of self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or punishing ourselves with self-criticism.

In daily life, self-compassion involves noticing when we’re having a hard time, and rather than judging and criticizing ourselves, we respond to our pain with care and kindness, just as we would a dear friend. There’s now an impressive and growing body of research demonstrating that relating to ourselves in a kind, friendly manner is essential for emotional wellbeing. And though self-compassion is not often the first response for many of us during moments of personal struggle, this skill can be trained, even for those of us who did not learn it as children.

Self-Compassion Courses & Workshops

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